Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
