No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
