i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
