I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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