Your face is a jimmy john
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I supernannyed him into submission
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
