office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
