I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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