i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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