so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
