I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize