does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
