My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
