Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize