Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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