Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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