he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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