That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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