So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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