Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize