I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The power of my boobs compel you
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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