For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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