so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
