Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
