you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
