We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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