Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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