I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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