i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
