Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
