I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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