Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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