DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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