What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
