Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Randomize