How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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