Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
