I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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