I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
