He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
