some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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