Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
