I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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