Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
