I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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