We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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