she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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