Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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