oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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