Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
