our cab driver is having phone sex.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize