I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
