I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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