The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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