Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
