You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
