went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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