If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
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I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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