Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
