Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
