Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
