i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
