Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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