New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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