thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
